Dealing with negativity
A thread...
We have a Google Drive folder in the team with 3 sub-folders:
1. Hate
2. Life changing
3. Funny
I told my team, if there is any day you feel like god's gift to mankind, go to the hate folder.
Here is what it has...
When one reads these, there are 3 possible reactions:
1. Go into a dark mode and take 2-3 days to recover from it, questioning everything about your existence
2. Try and ignore the haters, because that's what we are told (but it rarely works)
3. Empathize with the haters
What?
Empathize with the haters?
The ones spewing venom?
Yes.
I am arguing that you need to try and empathize with them.
When I received this particular email, I found myself laughing, because I found it funny.
And then I looked at the timestamp.
Suddenly, I was overcome with massive sadness.
I was imaging the life of this individual.
Did they sleep at all? Did they just wake up? Did they see something that triggered this reaction? It can't be just me.
This person must have a really hard life.
They must be really angry.
Not at me.
Not at themselves.
At life!
And I kid you not, I found myself feeling so terribly sorry for this person.
Because this person might not have anyone to speak to. No one to share what they are going through.
So much so that they decided to send such an anger filled note to some random dude on the internet.
The next time you find yourself in the middle of a toxic remark, a hate situation, a non-physical "fight", see if deploying empathy towards the person helps you.
There is a strong chance it will.
If it doesn't, here is the 4th bonus approach.
As long as we are chasing positivity, we cannot ignore negativity.
When we say we do not want negativity in our life, we are admitting to understanding the definition of negativity.
And its impact on us.
We try and run away from negativity, towards positivity, but it is futile.
Because positivity is the awareness of negativity, the acceptance of negativity, the acknowledgement of it.
Instead, do not seek positivity either.
Remember, our Google drive has a folder called life-changing?
It contains precious emails and messages from people who thank us for the work we do. How we have helped them change their life.
I wouldn't reproduce them, because that would be too cocky.
Visualize this...
People thanking us.
Sharing how our content pulled them out of their darkest moments.
Helped them connect with their lost relationships, including the one they had with themselves.
I told my team, any day you feel terrible about yourself and question how your work impacts anyone, go to this folder.
Not to seek validation.
But to define positivity.
But when you read both the hate and life-changing, don't seek one side, wishing the other side away.
Instead, realize that both sides are a reality.
To embrace both positivity and negativity as a reality, without any emotional attachment or aversion, is ironically the only way to gather peace.
Peace isn't being perpetually happy.
It is being divorced from wanting to be perpetually happy.
So do not wish for your haters to go away. Do not give them the joy of a special position in your world and your thoughts.
Instead, pray for their well being.
Realize that for every such hater, there is an admirer as well.
Be aware of them. Do not chase them.
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