Last week I shared that @xdg's piece on Mentoring Engineers was one of my favorites.
Here is why. Highlights:
Mentors should operate at 3 levels:
1️⃣ Goals - Figuring out what they really want
2️⃣ Situations - Handling the unfamiliar or difficult
3️⃣ Skills - Getting promoted
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twitter.com/thiagoghisi/status/1617250051302248449?s=46&t=_QZBILfZVS1iXvZKhwYQ6Q
1️⃣ GOALS: Telling someone what they should want isn’t as powerful as helping them discover it for themself.
Goals are most meaningful when they are deeply understood.
The best goals come from within.
In the simplest form, it’s the “where do you see yourself in five years?" question, but that’s a big leap for most people to take in a way that’s authentic and not what they think they ought to say or what the mentor wants to hear.
Instead, probe for how well they understand their current situation:
• What’s going well?
• What’s not going well?
• What about your role do you enjoy the most?
• What’s most frustrating?
• If you could change one thing, what would it be and why?
2️⃣ SITUATIONS: To mentor situations, tell stories.
Faced with the question “what should I do?", a mentor should resist the urge to recommend and should look for an opportunity to tell a personal story instead.
Why answer indirectly with a story?
• Sharing a related experience reassures a mentee that they’re not alone
• Stories engage the listener’s brain, helping them focus more completely on what they’re being told rather than their own problems
• Stories let a mentee consider a situation through an abstraction – when they aren’t the protagonist of their own, immediate problem, they have a chance to see a situation more objectively and consider different perspectives.
• Finally, it preserves their agency and sense of control. A story is a teaching tool – “this worked for me” – but you leave the decisions up to them.
IMPORTANT: Be honest if you haven’t experienced a situation personally.
3️⃣ SKILLS: To mentor skills, you have to observe the mentee’s in action or output.
• For coding skills, code review or pair programming.
• For communication skills, sit in on a meeting they expect to actively participate in or watch them practice a presentation.
The MOST IMPORTANT thing ON MENTORING is to PROVIDE ACTIONABLE FEEDBACK.
It means being specific about your observations, what they need to learn or practice in order to improve & providing direction about what they could have done differently.
If your mentee doesn’t know what to do next, your feedback wasn’t actionable.
Mentoring is about listening.
Resist the temptation to offer unsolicited advice.
Tip: Career Ladder for Growth Conversations w/ your Mentor:
Look at the level above your current one. For every item, ask:
• Where do you see me on this?
• What am I missing, specifically?
• What steps can I take to demonstrate it?
• What support will I need to do that?