Since 2020, I haven’t just gotten through my days, I feel like I must survive them.

I had to start this year with a clear plan for how I am going to deal with the chaos BECAUSE frankly, surviving isn't sustainable.

I work four jobs every week all of which are heavy emotionally.

There are often chaos coming at me from every direction.

Jobs:
1.  Managing Non-profit (investor demands)
2. Therapy clients (unplanned emergencies)
3. Etsy Store (order issues)
4. Creating content (NO TIME)

But, the jobs are a means to an end. I really just want to be a quality husband to my wife and involved father to my 3 super active young sons.

If I am constantly stressed, I am useless to the people that matter to me most..

Good news, I cracked the code!

It started with this realization:

Whether I end the day feeling fulfilled or destroyed comes down to how I navigate the tiniest moments

I've poured attention into giving myself control over the moments within my day.

It was not about how much I got done but about how I expressed who I was within those moments. The more true I was to myself, the better.

Here's how I walked it out:
Step 1: Separate your day into the moments. (You have no control over time)

Step 2: Identify the objectives for each moment. (Resiliency > Productivity)

Step 3: Write out the instructions for your objective (Follow your mood)

Need more? I got you covered. I wrote an entire blog post on this with way more detail. It includes templates and examples. Check it out here: https://www.edvardoarcher.com/post/win-the-day-welcome-the-chaos

Getting through the days

Yesterday was a mess, but you don't have to repeat it.

Win the day and welcome the chaos

The secret lies in your ability to manage your moments. It's not hard, actually it's quite simple.

Here's how you can achieve it:
Step 1: Separate your day into the moments. (You have no control over time)

Step 2: Identify the objectives for each moment. (Resiliency > Productivity)

Step 3: Manage your moments by following your mood

Step 1. Separate your day into moments

In order to create a sense of control, it is important that you discard your notion of an hourly agenda for now.

Start with noticing and accepting the natural flow of an average day.

Step 2. Identify the objectives for each moment.

What is the most authentic version of you in each moment?

Write down the kind of person you want to be in each moment.

Resiliency > Productivity

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” - Maya Angelou

Productivity is the best outcome if everything aligns
Resilience creates the best outcome despite a turbulent environment

Integrate Resilience into your moments with these actions:

• Hope- grounding yourself in a sense of permanency.
• People- impacting and being impacted by interpersonal relationships
• Story- owning, feeling, reflecting on and move forward within the unexpected moments

Step 3. Manage your moments by following your mood

Expect that you will have high points and dips in your energy throughout the day.

Be bold during your high energy moments and compassionate with yourself during energy dips.

Win the day! Welcome the Chaos

In the absence of a therapist, your journal can do some heavy lifting.

Journal and reflect on your daily life and it will deliver quality therapeutic value.

Here are 5 steps to achieve just that:

1. Identify your antagonist

In the story of you, the antagonist is any internal or external force that threatens your peace.

Do this to identify your problem:

A. Scan your body 🧎🏽 for discomfort

B. Jot down feelings ❤️‍🩹 associated with A.

C. What are A.🧎🏽 and B.❤️‍🩹 trying to telling you?


2. Discover what your hero wants

HINT: You are the Hero

Do this to figure out what you want:

Imagine a sudden miracle happens and the problem vanishes. Now, when you look in the mirror something has changed, what's the first thing you notice about you?

3. Deconstruct your personal outlook

Who told you the stories you believe about yourself?

Therapy is transformational because it leads you down uncomfortable roads to deliver liberating insights.

Answer this:

What has society, humans & hurts informed your perspectives?

4. Rebuild your outlook

Time to pick up the fragments of experiences, vague memories or seemingly insignificant moments that hint at alternatives to the problem story.

Write out all of the moments you defied external expectations and embodied your authentic self.


5. Build internal validation

Using your journal, write the words: NURTURE, SECURITY, WISDOM

Under each, write the names of individuals (real or imaginary) that best capture the qualities of each word.

Journal memories of them until you feel nurtured, safe and supported.

Let these individuals validate your new outlook

As you journal, imagine you bring your rebuilt personal outlooks to them. Note how they would nurture it, secure it and add wisdom to you.

Then close your journal and rehearse your new story throughout the day.


Your journal can be a powerful source of healing. The following will allow you to review and refine your story each day:

1. Identify your antagonist

2. Discover what your hero wants

3. Deconstruct your personal outlook

4. Rebuild your outlook

5. Build internal validation

FYI, I've put this reflection strategy and more in a course!

https://edvardoarcher.gumroad.com/l/moojw

Use the code: SUPPORT for 40% off

Also, times are tough, if would serve you to receive this course at no cost, DM me and I'll give you free access. 🙏

https://youtu.be/_TxDvVMTp5Q

Shoutout to my @0xFoster family that helped me edit this thread. Thank you @DanverChandler @bewithcassandra @ErikaRasso

Journaling as a Form of Therapy

I bought @thejustinwelsh’s course “Content OS” last week and this might be the missing piece i’ve been looking for. 

So far, I’ve spent over 6 hours, learning the system to QUICKLY and effortlessly create 15 pieces of content weekly

Here are the 3 biggest lessons I've learned

Systems do not betray creativity

Justin reminds us that most creative artists have templates. Singers, movies, books. No one starts with a blank page. 

Why do we, online writers, feel systems are anti-creative. 

Systems lend more breathing space to creativity

Leverage technology to best fit your way of thinking

@thejustinwelsh brain is systemic & architectural as clearly seen in is Notion Templates offered in the course. 

BUT I require serendipity to enjoy writing. 

I'm using Roam Research as my Content OS dashboard.

Nothing is free, everything is cost something. 

@thejustinwelsh is not shy about the fact that work is required BUT 

The gift is in showing up

Systems reward you for showing up 

 Your environment makes the cost achievable

I will be implementing these tools in the coming weeks. Follow and let me know if you notice any differences

Or grow with me! Let's do this together

DM me, let's connect

https://www.justinwelsh.me/a/2147507660/UAxJ6Y5d

Beginning to implement Content OS by Justin Welsh

I tried resting but I don’t feel rested!

How often do you feel like this?

Rest is achievable but we need a few tools. Let’s use the acronym: L.E.T. (Learn, Embrace, Transition) to define those tools

• Learn to rest in energy
• Embrace our finitude
• Transition sequence

Learn to rest in energy

Try this: Rest when you have energy.

Rest doesn’t have to be a shutdown of all things, it could be directing your attention and energy to other parts of yourself.

In Dr. Dalton-Smith's TED Talk, she shares 7 types of rest.

Check this out:

Embrace our finitude

You are not in a losing fight against time! You walk alongside it and shape time’s significance around you. 

This is finitude. Embracing this power will allow you to let go of the fight!

Read more about how used this to I kill the God of hustle:


https://twitter.com/edvardoarcher/status/1503751829829693445?s=21&t=3Y9ci38Ny6NMcQyLsvVYsA

Transition sequence

It’s hard to rest because everything bleeds together. What you did 5 mins ago or earlier today has the same loudness as what you are trying to do right now. 

We need a way to transition. 

Use this sequence:

1. Review
2. Write
3. Say

Boom! 

If you are trying to get rested, it is achievable but we need a few tools.

• Learn to rest in energy
• Embrace our finitude
• Transition sequence

Use these to L.E.T. Go and rest!

If you like that, I send these quick tips and more in my bi-weekly newsletter. 

It’s for builders, creators and dreamers 

And offers tools on how to ACHIEVE, HEAL AND DISCOVER to be productive without self violence. 

Newsletter.edvardoarcher.com

How to REST

And...done

I just launched my first Skillshare Course: Mood First Productivity- A System to Flow With Your Mood Into Productivity https://skl.sh/3QU9aNf

It teaches a step-by-step system to make your projects serve the flow of your mood and mental state. Check it out!


Have you wondered how therapy will work in the metaverse? 

I've been doing it for the last few months and here's how I run a Virtual Reality session.

1. Bridging In Person + Metaverse

2. Checking-In

3. Session

4. Back to reality


1. Bridging In Person + Metaverse

The beginning of therapy is crucial for trust and safety.

I try to meet via video with my clients at least once before we go into the VR environment.


1.1. No Special equipment needed

Good news! Neither therapist nor client need a VR headset to participate in a virtual session.

One of my clients said the browser experience felt more like Fortnite or Roblox. Play is great for therapy!


2. Checking-In

My client and I start our virtual therapy in an office scene on a beach.

I usually ask my clients to pull in a meme that best describes how they feel. This is a good ice breaker for us.
 

3. Session

The content of the session always follows my client's needs AND the VR platform offers several tools to enhances our work.

At any point we can bring in tools like new scenes, 3d objects and memes into the conversation. Here are 3 of my favorite tools 👇 


3.1. 3d objects

To help a client describe his sadness, we found an object that best encapsulated the weight he felt: A 3d Dumbell. We manipulated the size to show how big his sadness felt.

My clients are better able to hold their stories because of these symbolic 3d objects.


3.2. Scenes

We can choose from a number of Scenes: planets, forests, dungeons, offices, etc.

A popular scene for my clients is a foggy, cavernous landscape that features the sound of bubbling water, a calming soundtrack and a long trail. Why?

The fog creates a sense of enveloping safety.

The sounds make our conversation feel deeper.

The trail and sights integrate experiential senses.

We walk, we talk and we process deeply


4. Back to reality

Towards the end of the VR session we go back to our original office on a beach. We debrief thoughts, measure what they feel and plan assignments for their week.


Shoutouts:

The folks at @virgilsvr have done an amazing job at developing this  HIPAA compliant VR platform for therapists. Check out their work!

Thanks to my wonderful @0xFoster editing community and @0xCaryn (she is awesome, follow her!)

Interesting right?  Read these 3 trends I am noticing as a VR therapist:

https://twitter.com/edvardoarcher/status/1524419115556818950?s=20&t=r1VMoAKxf3rQdrReZ4i65g

Therapy in the Metaverse

Every clinician is creative.

We design treatment plans, synthesize insights and initiate deep pensive moments.

Imagine if we gave these gifts to the world. Therapists need to write online!

BUT here are 3 reasons why WE WON'T DO IT and the SOLUTIONS to overcoming 👇 


1. We hardly have enough time to finish notes yet alone a blog post

Solution: Don't create content, document your insights

Take the top 2 insights you share with a client today -> reformat it -> share it online.

2. We do not know how to get started

Do I start a blog? What should I write about? How often should I post something?

Stop!

Here is a cheat code on getting started: 👇 


Solution: Learn from the Greats.

Here are some of the most selfless teachers of online writing that will give you all of the next steps freely:

@dickiebush 
@Nicolascole77
@Julian
@david_perell


3. We fear therapists who hate therapists

They despise the idea of a therapist living and showing an authentic life online.

They are happiest when we stay within the plantation of managed care where no self promotion is required.

They are few but they are loud


Solution: Be respectful of your client's confidentiality and their journey.

AND be respectful towards your creative inspirations.

Push past the fear of the few.

Just write; your tribe will find you.

Let's start the tribe together! 

DM me and I'll add you to a twitter list for us to support each other. 

Shoutout to my tribe for editing and giving me feedback on this thread: @confuciusme @steven_ovadia @0xFoster

TLDR:

Therapist can create online content! Here is how:

1. Don't create content, document your insights
2. Learn from the Greats.
3. Respect your clients and your creativity, push through the fear of the few


Therapist should write online!

Stop running away from fear!

Rather, allow yourself to

1. Defy Fear
2. Ride with Fear
3. Dance with Fear

Here are some resources to help you do just that: 🧵 👇 

1. Defy Fear

How many times have you been on the edge of starting something new but the fear of getting started has you stuck?

My wife and I recently recorded a podcast episode about this exact thing.

Episode takeaways on next tweet 👇 

Defying Fear:

🏋️ There is no skill in overcoming fear, it requires fresh effort every time.

❓ Let your “Why” be your background music. Your “Why” is the reason for confronting fear.

🤔 Tell fear that ignorance is allowed. It’s ok to not know what you are doing at first.

2. Ride with Fear

Fear is not the enemy, it is needed for survival.

In Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" @GilbertLiz shares the conversation she has with fear at the beginning of every new endeavor. 

"Dear Fear,Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. 👇

You’re allowed to have a seat but you are not allowed to have a vote;you’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio

But above all else, you are absolutely forbidden to drive."

3. Dance with Fear

Fear isn't going anywhere. Whether you are a novice or expert, fear will play a role in your efforts. 

The goals is never to extinguish fear but to learn to dance with it. 

Here are some quotes to help you learn the steps: 👇 

“The beautiful thing about fear is that when you run to it, it runs away.” - @mteton

"We have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs … and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us.”- Audre Lorde

“Working on a problem reduces the fear of it. It’s hard to fear a problem when you are making progress on it—even if progress is imperfect and slow. Action relieves anxiety” - @JamesClear


Also, this thread comes from my bi-weekly newsletter Achieve, Heal, Discover. 

You'll learn how to: Achieve your goals | Engage a journey to Heal | Discover new ideas for fun.

Sign Up to get more! 

newsletter.edvardoarcher.com


Dance with Fear

What is REST?

I listen to 3 Top TED talks on Rest. 

Here are my takeaway notes for you:  👇 🧵 

How to Relax | Bryan Russell

- Rest is not the absence of stress
- We have to stimulate a relaxation response
- Exit survival mode in order to rest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P96mwXALxzE

Redefining Rest- Slowing Dow to Speed Up! | Bec Heinrich @BecHeinrich

- Rest is deep internal renewal
- Use silence, stillness and solitude to prompt rest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hypNfi10JZo

The real reason why we are tired and what to do about it | Saundra Dalton-Smith @DrDaltonSmith

- Sleep is not Rest
- 7 Types of Rest - mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory, creative, physical
- Rest= Restoration of one of the areas above

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGNN4EPJzGk

If you found this thread valuable:

Toss me a follow for more threads on productivity and mental health → @edvardoarcher 

Here’s another thread you might enjoy:https://twitter.com/edvardoarcher/status/1503751829829693445?s=20&t=zPwmm0-6Y184NZc6dlfLkw

You can read the unrolled version of this thread here: https://typefully.com/edvardoarcher/nFm17ceSAuiM