lots of talent in making my essays *sound* like they're bound for a peer-reviewed academic journal...
how can I capitalize on this? I feel like academia takes itself too seriously to acknowledge parodies of themselves and nobody else gives a shit.
somewhere out there... lives at least one graduate student who's *only* significant challenge in school is entitling his essays. research, writing, peer-review come easy, but the titles...
he is so terrified of anyone figuring this out that he plagiarizes titles and ONLY titles, hyperventilating and sweating his ass off... he wishes so desperately that he could just use a number document ID on the title page... he cannot go on like this.
his doctoral thesis is expected in three days. it is a masterpiece... relevant, original, impeccably documented.
in fact, it is so good that its title is almost certainly going to be attached to his name for the rest of his academic career and on.. if only it had one.
he can't sleep... he's losing his mind. he's going to be ruined! all of the tutoring and the schmoozing and the constant, careful adjustment of his social orientation within the grant-sustained meritocracy for enough favors (its currency) for the asks to craft such a thing.
he has decided he's either going to
End It All
leave the country forever
or name it "ˡᵒʳᵉᵐ ᶤᵖˢᵘᵐ: ˡᵉᵗ ᵐᵉ ᵇᵉ ᶠʳᵉᵉ" and attempt to convince the leadership of his department that he was a danger to others as long as he was allowed to move freely through society.
UNTIL HE ENCOUNTERED THIS VERY THREAD...
and paid me to come up with the title for his chef d'oeuvre, which took me all of 20 minutes:
𝘌𝘱𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘶𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘙𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯-𝘈𝘨𝘯𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘋𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯
David Blue, Automotive Edition
@dieselgoth
Self-Described Software Historian and COMPAQ ride or die, Writing In Public, consulting from the bilge, and here to help. 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 Largely here because @NeoYokel - my 15-year-old account upon which I'd posted nearly every day, met many of my adult friends, etc., was suspended last summer and I'm trying to rescue my best ideas. (Sorry.)