Edgar Allen Poe wrote famously about the sound and emotional impact of "The Bells."
Had he lived today, he might have penned
"The Memes"
I.
Read the emails with their memes,
Classic memes!
Princes from Nigeria and other sordid schemes!
...
Babies dancing, dancing, dancing,
Grainy cha-cha CGIs
Lines of hamstersâ endless prancing,
Spongebob squarepants now entrancing
With a theme to bastardize
Epic fails, fails, fails
As the poor, grape lady wails,
As they conquer all your base with poorly-written subroutines
From the memes, memes, memes, memes,
Memes, memes, memesâ
From the scamming and the spamming of the memes
II.
See the funny viral memes,
YouTube memes!
Ethernets exhausted by the cyberculture streams!
Just download Adobe Flash,
Watch until your laptops crash,
Itâs a trap! End of Ze World!
We love each gag.
Itâs the time for PBJ,
Watching Strongbad, Badger Badger, Numa Yei,
Cursing lag.
âTill professions intervene,
Keyboard cats and Rickrolls now monopolize the screen!
Some are clean,
Some obscene,
Innuendos unforeseen,
Which encumber our machines,
Now a vulture of the culture
Of the memes, memes, memes,
Of the memes, memes, memes, memes,
Memes, memes, memesâ
The diffusing and amusing of the memes.
III.
Scroll through countless snarky memes,
Twitter memes!
Harsh, discordant rancor and political extremes!
#FirstWorldProblems oft-discussed
As we #facepalm in disgust
âBye Felicia,â we assert,
As our psyche grows inert
And decays
The cacophonous polemics draw the mind into the mire
With the paranoid endemic, postulations to conspire
Spitting fire, fire, fire,
In a flame war amplifier
Willy Wonkaâs condescension
#Ermahgerd, the reprehension
From Chuck Norris and old cliches
Oh the memes, memes, memes!
How the vitriol demeans
Is it fair?
Grumpy cats we all adore
Mixed with discourse we abhor
And demotivation poster savoir-faire
So the zeitgeist is consumed
And compiled,
And defiled,
âTill society is doomed
Yet the comedy redeems,
New profile,
Gangam Style!
So we #DealWithIt it seems
The ad hominem recalcitrance fomenting tribal themes
Of the memesâ
Of the memes, memes, memes, memes,
Memes, memes, memes,
In the impulse and the insults of the memes
IV.
Feel the power of the memes,
Modern memes
Damaging democracy and propping up regimes,
Cash me ousside day or night,
Neither gracious nor contrite
Just the autocratic leaders we bemoan!
The despotsâ every troll,
Type the doom through which we scroll,
On our phone.
And the usersâah the usersâ
Both informers and abusers,
Feel alone
And who trolling, trolling, trolling,
Like sadistic chaperones
Grow addicted from the scrolling
With no patch or methadone
Like a digital Rasputin
Baby Shark and Shirtless Putinâ
Clickbait holes
Politician checks the polls,
As he scrolls, scrolls, scrolls,
Scrolls.
Investment sparked from memes!
Buying stonks on hope and dreams,
More investment sparked by memes!
Elon speaks, the market screams
Killing time, time, time
Of a youthful personâs prime
Weâre invested in the memesâ
Even teens
Killing time, time, time
As we waste our precious prime,
Pepe frogs infest our memes,
All the memes, memes, memes,
Cancel mobs infest our memes,
Killing time, time, time,
With our screens, screens, screens,
Thereâs a victim, not a crime,
From cajoling of the memes,
From the memes, memes, memes
The controlling of the memes,
Of the memes, memes, memes, memes,
Memes, memes, memes
The iniquity, ubiquity of memes
If you enjoyed this parody - please follow me for other off-color, satirical, rhyming commentary about the world of tech, AGI, consulting, finance, society, and whatever else.