Thomas Crown PUA's Guide to Opening

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A lot of people complement me on my teasing observations and openers. This thread will teach you how to speak good like me THREAD

Let's start with some basics. You've probably heard this before. Make sure you are not speaking in one long announcement. No more: "Excuse-me-I-just-saw-you-I-thought-you-looked-nice-I-noticed-your-white-jacket-and-thought-you-looked-like-a-polar-bear."

Nor should it sound like an essay: "Excuse me. I am approaching you. Why am I approaching you? I shall tell you. It is because I find you attractive. Why? Because I think that you looked nice. What did I notice about you? Your white jacket. You look like a polar bear."

There should be pauses because it sounds more natural to do so. It sounds less scripted (more on scripts/routines later). More importantly, it gives the girl a chance to speak. To acknowledge you. It gives her time to settle and for you to calibrate (again, more later)

Why do you want to give her a chance to speak and settle? Maybe she has a boyfriend and is faithful. In such a rush she has literally no time. Lesbian. Etc. There may be one strong reason that immediately makes her either uninterested or unavailable. Let her rule herself out.

Ironically this calmness - these pauses - may make her more likely to stay and talk because it shows that you're not crowding her decision. Understand that it's not your wall of speech that keeps her there.

Here is how it should have been said. Each ellipses represents a one second pause: "Excuse me, hey, stop... can I just say something really cheeky?... I thought you looked quite nice/pretty/cute/etc... Yeah, and with this jacket on... You look just like a fluffy polar bear."

Now let's talk about phrasing and tonality. Many guys take the "speak low and slow" advice too far and sound either: a) robotic and scripted b) try hard c) uninterested d) too cool for school e) any of the above

Instead, try to "speak deep, not low," and allow your tone to move around a bit. It catches the ear much more. Here are two pieces of homework for you. Watch these two videos:

What Makes This Song Great? Ep. 1 Blink -182 youtube.com/watch?v=TU--X0pC12o

What Makes This Song Great? Ep.110 Blink-182 youtube.com/watch?v=rrlysChs-Fk

Take the episode on "All The Small Things" as an example. The pre-chorus and the "nah nah nahs" aren't sung in one, monotonous tone as if they were autotuned to one note. The same goes for your openers:

"Excuse me" (said as if you were going to make the most reasonable request in the world, like asking for directions or the time. Always start with "excuse me" rather than "hey" straight off the bat. "Hey" sounds like the start of a conversation and you want to build up to that...

cont. If you're coming into set and sound like you want a full conversation straight off the bat, that's a big step up for the girl. You have to start using tones that make it seem like it will be quick. This will encourage her to stop).

"Can I say something really cheeky" (said with the lowest tone you'll use in the opener. This should sound almost sleezy and with a gleam in your eye.)

"I thought you looked quite nice" (tone goes back up a little because you conveyed the frame with "cheeky" and now you're going back to something less sexual and with more plausible deniability. If you said she looked "sexy" and with the same tone as before, it could raise ASD)

"I noticed your white jacket. It made you look like a fluffy polar bear" (said as the "punchline" to your opener and with a smile on your face as if you're a young boy who's done something he knows he shouldn't, but thinks he can get away with)

The frame you should have throughout your opener is to imagine that you're playing with a kitten who's claws haven't grown properly yet. You can scratch her belly and play around with her but not be scared of being hurt.

You can also think of yourself as liking her but not being quite sold yet. Imagine in the movies where the new kid joins the gang. "He's young and he's got a long way to go. But he's a good kid." That kind of vibe.

Going back to the Blink 182 song, the pre-chorus and nah's are song with a harmony: in this case, a melancholy sounding one. This is, in essence, fractionation, and is what really catches the attention.

That's already in there with the changes in tone and with a compliment and tease (remember it's not a neg, moreso an observation which she wonders "is that a compliment or an insult?"). But let's go further. If the tease hits well, and she laughs or smiles, then let's hammer it:

"Yeah, like a little polar bear... You're very far from home. Did you get lost?... Or perhaps on a polar bear's holiday... I hope you have your sunscreen with you... And you saved up enough Polar Bucks to spend at all the London tourist attractions."

That's a silly story I've make up about her off the top of my head, but the point is that she enjoyed it so we pressed our advantage. Later on, that will stick in her mind and set you apart from all the "You look proper fit please take my number" chodes out there.

Again, those ellipses represent little pauses which gives her time to hear what you're saying and laugh or even join in with the banter. That's a great sign if she does that. She's hooked on your bait.

We also want to do something I call "teasing up" and "teasing down." Many guys (mostly Americans, I'm afraid) only tease up. They don't have the English concept of banter nailed down. Remember that in England we will literally call our best friends "c**t" e.g. "he's a nice c**t."

Teasing up bigs the person up. Teasing down lowers them down (but only slightly, it's not supposed to be a neg remember). Notice how the phrases between the ellipses fractionate between teasing up and down.

Here's a real life example: imagine @MrWhiteDaygame walks into a bar (ouch) and he's just trained arms. Teasing up example: woah mate, watch out with those guns! When are you entering the Olympia again? Teasing down example: woah mate, how much tren did it take to build those?

Now onto the second video, on "What's My Age Again?" In particular I want to make a quick point on how the bass and drums line up so you hear the snare. The bass is played so that there are gaps for you to hear the drums.

In our case that means leaving gaps (the ellipses in the example opener) in our words to allow our eye contact to show through.

That's everything on opening. Recap: 1) Leave pauses 2) Let her settle 3) Speak deep, not low 4) Move your tone around 5) Let her feel your eye contact 6) Listen to how she reacts to your opener 7) Tease up and down

Now let's move onto the teases themselves. This is where a lot of guys throw their hands up in the air and don't even try to improve because they're "not creative" or "just don't think that way." In reality, this is very simple. You just have to put in some work.

Let's start with an analogy. Ask yourself: "how many meals do you eat?" I don't mean per day. I mean the types of food. You might think you eat such a massive array of food it couldn't be counted without great difficulty. In reality you probably only eat 10-20 different meals.

The same goes for teasing. There are only a certain number of "looks" out there. I tend to base my tease off of the colour she's wearing. So any time I see the colour white I think "polar bear." When I see red I think "strawberry." How hard is it to remember 10 colours?!

Some more homework for you. List the colours and ask yourself "what do I think when I see that colour" and write down your answers. Now pretend she's responded well to that little tease. How would you hammer it? Write down two or three sentences for what you'd say.

You could say that this is scripted or that it's a routine. But if that's the case then your whole life is a routine. If you brush your teeth the same way each day, is that bad? Or if you eat the same 10-20 meals, is that bad?

The difference between it sounding robotic and sounding natural is the filler words which you'll introduce when you're comfortable saying them. So rather than saying things one after another, you'll say them more like they're ideas coming to you in the moment e.g.

"Yeah, like a little polar bear... You know what? You're very far from home. Did you get lost?... No, maybe that. Or perhaps on a polar bear's holiday. That's nice..."

If you do that homework then you'll always have those ideas in your back pocket to use when you can't think of anything else. Perhaps the greatest benefit of doing this is that it will take the pressure off. You always know that you have a safety net. END

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