20 things I wish I was told in my 20s
A thread...
1. It is ok to not feel connected anymore with your school/college friends.
It is better to acknowledge it and express it, than to slowly drift apart and live with the guilt "did I do it right?"
2. The world will do everything to dictate a timeline for your life.
Finish studies by 24
Get married by 27
Kids by 30
If you listen to the world, you will live their life.
Not yours.
3. You do not have to be an extrovert to win.
Extroversion/Introversion has nothing to do with people. Instead it is how you gain energy. From people, or from within.
If you are introvert, strengthen yourself instead of wanting to change yourself.
4. Most life plans do not work out. And that's part of the plan!
Things will change.
You will change.
The world will change.
And thus your plans will change.
When they do, embrace the new you.
It is telling you something.
5. It is the only decade where
- you are big enough to take big risks, and
- have a life long enough to recover if those risks do not work out
Take risks.
You will be surprised at how many of them work out.
Or how easily you get over them.
6. Nothing expects you to be sorted. But you will believe you are the only one who is not!
The most binding trait of all those in their 20s, is that all of them are trying to make sense of their life.
No one has it figured.
7. Everyone in their 20s thinks they are too old.
But you are not.
You are really really early!
You are just getting started.
You have time to figure things out.
The pressure of time is self imposed.
8. Life will move really fast. Don't let it.
Do not live your life as if its happening to you.
Eat. Work. Sleep. Repeat.
Pursue hobbies, learn, connect with people, work out, read, exercise, meditate, think, wake up / sleep on time, do things outside of work.
LIVE LIFE!
9. Don't make money to spend. Make it to retire.
If you earn to spend, you will be forced to earn all your life.
If you earn to free yourself from earning, you will be able to do whatever you want to do.
For the rest of your life!
10. You are responsible ONLY for your happiness. Not that of others.
Other people's baggage is theirs to deal with.
Acknowledge them.
Empathize with them.
Support them.
But allow them to work things out on their own.
11. FOMO will always lead to short term decisions.
True for money.
True for career.
True for relationships.
True for life!
12. If people like you, life will be much easier.
Be kind.
Be generous.
Compliment people.
Help people.
Do it for no returns.
And you will get massive returns!
13. Be aware of what you are feeling
20s is when we are feeling the most. Because so much around us is constantly changing.
Don't try to control your emotions.
Instead be aware of them.
Why am I angry/sad/scared/excited/happy/nervous?
Make your mind your friend. Not enemy.
14. Your goals are merely desires
Goals are weird.
We hit them - feel great.
We don't hit them - feel shitty.
But when we set them, there is no basis for it.
Only a desire.
Don't set goals.
Set habits.
And they will take you to far great goals you could have set for yourself.
15. Talking about people will never take you far. Talking about ideas will.
Surround yourself with people who talk ideas.
Take yourself out from circles where you are simply talking about people!
16. A person isn't nice because they are nice to you. They are nice because they are nice to everyone, especially those they don't need to be nice to!
Notice yourself when you start falling for people, just because they are nice to you!
Observe how they treat everyone.
17. Keep asking questions, even if you think it annoys people
Only those who ask questions move forward.
Rest everyone accepts the answer society has given them!
18. Your self-esteem is yours to nurture. Not for others to define.
But others will define it for you.
And you will outsource your self-esteem to them.
Until the day they leave and you will be left with no self-esteem.
Love yourself.
Respect yourself.
Nurture yourself.
19. Don't optimize for money. Optimize for learning.
This decade:
- If you learn at the expense of money, you will earn a lot more in the future than you imagined.
- If you earn at the expense of learning, you will have to keep earning and learning for the rest of your life!
20. If you abuse your body, you wouldn't realize the harm until much later.
Don't treat your body as a waste bin.
Don't ignore the signs.
Don't postpone healing yourself to tomorrow.
You shouldn't need an accident to tell you that you are damaged.
The 20s is the defining decade for most of us.
It is in this decade we find our most meaningful relationships, we start our careers, we handle money, we manage our own selves and we handle people at scale.
It is also the decade we are least trained for!
I learnt most of these 20 lessons the hard way.
And much later in life.
I wish someone has sat me down and explain the process of growing up.
I wish there was a "Guide to growing up" published somewhere.
In the absence of it, this thread is a start.
Hopefully not the end!
Your 20s are your "selfish" years. Its a decade to immerse yourself into every single thing possible.
Be selfish with your time, and all the aspects of you.
Tinker with shit, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground.
- Kyoko Escamilia
A book I would strongly recommend for everyone in their 20s
amzn.to/3rDBKYu
Retweet the start of this thread and I will randomly select 5 of you, to gift this book.
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