3 qualities for every role we play in life
A thread...
Parent:
1. Encourage them to ask questions. Be patient with those questions. Do not kill their curiosity.
2. Thank them for telling the truth. Do not reprimand them. Else they will always lie.
3. Support them, when they fail. That's when they need you the most.
Son/Daughter:
1. Realize how their life experiences shaped them up.
2. Don't think they can do no wrong. They are humans first. Parents later.
3. Before you fight with them, realize they want the same things for you that you want for yourself. Its just a different path.
Brother/Sister:
1. Share. Even if they don't. It is a beautiful value to build.
2. Support them. Encourage them. Be there for them. They are the only blood relationship that will most likely grow old with you.
3. Don't ever show them down in front of their friends. Ever!
Student:
1. Learn the art of learning. Not just the subject. So that you can become a student whenever you want.
2. Understand by yourself. Absorb by discussing with peers. Amplify by teaching it back to others.
3. Write things down. Writing helps structure our thoughts.
Friend:
1. Be genuinely happy, when they succeed. Its the hardest thing to do.
2. Do not make your friend responsible for your own happiness. You are responsible!
3. Tell them the truth. Be honest with them. Even if they may not like it.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
1. Listen, without judging. They should be 100% themselves when they are with you.
2. Don't make them feel bad for who they are or what they say. Don't change yourself as well.
3. You would WANT to make them happy. They shouldn't HAVE to make you happy.
Employee:
1. Be eager to learn. Not to create impact.
2. If you see things happening that are not in line with how the CEO would conduct themselves, raise them.
3. Focus on the outcome (what am I supposed to achieve), as against the output (what am I supposed to do)
Team Member:
1. Spend time with people who are different from you. Ask "what is it that they know that I don't."
2. Don't gossip about your team. EVER!
3. Acknowledge their contribution in your success. Not just in front of others. 1:1 with them as well.
Manager:
1. Build a professional team. And ask yourself everyday "Do I have the best team to win?"
2. Give regular feedback to people. Even when they are doing well.
3. Don't do their work. Don't make them do yours. Mentor them to become a manager one day.
Wife/Husband:
1. Live like 2 adults sharing a life together. Not 2 adults living one life.
2. Grow together. If the pace differs, then either wait or help them grow with you. Do not let a gap emerge because of differing growth rates.
3. Don't sleep without resolving a fight.
Personal Finance Manager:
1. Protect yourself before starting to invest - life and health insurance.
2. Understand your risk and invest accordingly. Not everyone needs to invest in stocks or crypto.
3. Don't ever invest in FOMO. No money is worth it, if you lose sleep over it.
Mentor:
1. Don't solve their problems. Listen to their problems.
2. Don't assume they know because you know. Remember who you were, when you were them.
3. Don't force down prescriptions. Share your opinion and ask them to consider.
Mentee:
1. Reach out. It is your responsibility to do so, than theirs to check on you.
2. Be honest. If you lie to them or hide from them, you make them incapable to mentor you.
3. Have multiple mentors for different aspects of life. Unfair for one person to play all roles.
Buyer:
1. Negotiate only if the money saved is important for you. Not because you want to feel good about yourself.
2. If not interested, let them know. A clear no is far more helpful than no response.
3. Pay on time. Always. And if you can't, let them know before time.
Seller:
1. Sell what they want. Not what you have made.
2. Always have a no-regret price. Below which you will not regret saying no.
3. Treat those who do not buy with just as much respect. They will create more buyers through goodwill.
Country citizen:
1. Remember that no country becomes cool by saying that other countries are uncool. It only becomes cool by improving itself.
2. Don't complain. Either help in fixing, or be patient with the problem.
3. Elect leaders as if they were to manage you directly.
As is with most things in life, a few rules and laws can explain most of what we experience.
Same is, in my view, with qualities.
A few strong ones can determine most outcomes.
As we play these roles in life now/later, it helps to center ourselves on a few guiding principles.
These are my rules.
Do not follow them.
Instead, use them as inspiration to build your own.
And in moments of doubt, fall back upon them.
Nothing endures, but personal qualities
- Walt Whitman
Every Friday I write a thread on personal growth, failures, startups, organization building and more.
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You can read the unrolled version of this thread here:
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